Gnome Sane?

by Devo Spice

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about

Gnome Sane by Devo Spice features 19 tracks of hilarious hip hop tracks including his hit songs "Platform Wars," "I Hate Mondays," "Nothin' But A Geek Thang," and more! This album features guest appearances by Worm Quartet, the great Luke Ski, MC Lars, YTCracker, and delivers over 70 minutes of comedy rap.

credits

released 01 April 2011

tags

tags: hip hop/rap comedy dementia hip-hop indie nerdcore parody rap New Jersey

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about

Devo Spice is a nerdcore and comedy rapper from New Jersey who has been called "the red-headed stepson of Weird Al Yankovic and Eminem." His demented brand of hip hop made him one of the most popular artists on the nationally syndicated Dr. Demento Show. In 2011 Devo Spice released the album "Gnome Sane?" and it went to number #28 on the Hip Hop charts on iTunes. ... more

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Track Name: I Hate Mondays
Ugh, I can't get up right now, man.
I don't feel good.
Who the hell decided
that morning needed to come so early?

(chorus 1)
That party last night was awfully crazy
I got so wasted
Now I'm hung over and threw up so much
I can still taste it
I drink some coffee, pop some speed
But four days sleep is what I need
Passed out at five, got class at eight
Smash my alarm, I can not see straight
Man I hate Mondays

(verse 1)
I only got college for another three weeks
Trying to pass, I cheat off the geeks
For that to work I have to get to class
Which means, I really have to move my ass
So fill up my cup, coffee straight up
I drive in a daze like huh, who, what?
I make it to class but don't feel great
A one hour class, I'm fifty minutes late
Got a pop quiz, don't know what the topic is
Gonna have to take it, guess I'll just fake it
See the worried faces, all over the places
Pray to three gods just to cover all the bases

(chorus 2)
That party rocked, for three days straight
We celebrated
Hell must've froze, I can't believe
I graduated
My term paper wasn't great
GPA was 1.8
Got my degree, so I bid adieu
But now I'm late for an interview

(bridge 1)
Man I hate Mondays (HEY!)
I hate mornings (HEY!)
I hate showers (HEY!)
Man I hate Mondays

(verse 2)
I can't tell you what I learned in school
But, it didn't prepare me to become a tool
Um, there are things I never thought I'd do
Like pay close attention to detail
And I can't check personal email
And logic is never gonna prevail
Only two people here are female
And I think one might be a she-male
And my paycheck, nowhere near what I thought
Now I can't afford the TV I just bought
Out of tequila, beer, wine, and rum too
Watching The Bachelor, is this what it's come to?

(chorus 3)
That office party was awfully lame
I wish I skipped it
Brown-nose the boss, so insincere
It sounded scripted
I cut my hair and shave my beard
And now it's me who thinks I look weird
Go home at eight, in bed by ten
Just watch the news, then do it again

(bridge 2)
Man I hate Mondays (HEY!)
I hate Tuesdays (HEY!)
I hate Wednesdays (HEY!)
Man I miss college

(interlude)
Now, I'm gonna give you a taste, of what I go through on Monday mornings. A typical day goes something like this.
*beep!* *beep!* *beep!* *beep!*
*beep!* *beep!* *beep!* *beep!*
(radio voice: Traffic on the 405 is at a total stand-still this morning as all lanes are closed in both directions due to an accident involving two tractor trailers, seven cars, an ice cream truck, and the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile. Traffic is being rerouted onto surface streets but they're moving about as fast as an old lady in the express lane paying with a check.)
Coffee! Coffee!
Coffee! Coffee!
Sittin' in traffic! Sittin' in traffic!
Sittin' in traffic! Sittin' in traffic!
Dammit, I'm late again. I hope my boss doesn't see... hey! Good morning, sir! No, I've been here for 20 minutes. I just had to go get something out of my car. Yes, with my briefcase. I don't go anywhere without it. No, not even the bathroom.

(chorus 4)
That office meeting we had left me
Permanently scarred
PowerPoint slides with cheesy graphics
And crappy clip art
Was ill-prepared and underdressed
And there weren't no donuts left
Proactive this, synergy that
Then something 'bout wearin' different hats

(outro)
But after a few days of that, it's the weekend.
You know what that means.
It means I get to cut the grass, clean out the gutters, and take the kids to soccer.
Do I really have to make the bed? Why can't I just leave it like that?
Track Name: Platform Wars
Hello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC
You can see me in homes wherever you happen to be
Not to mention landfills and a couple of dumps
Because you need to be replaced every couple of months
Macs on the other hand last for years
Because it takes you that long for you to dry your tears
When you realize you spent enough to renovate some rooms
And the only software you can run is iTunes
I got software that can do anything
From run the space shuttle to help you sing
They help you write when you get stuck, invest and make a quick buck
Millions of titles, yeah, and all of them suck
They got a clunky interface and they waste too much space
And they crash so damn much your table needs a leg brace
You really should try a Mac, sorry, but no I won't
You think I like the iMac and iPod well iDon't

Hello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC
And I run all the best games in the industry
Well I got games too, dude, what's with the greed
I can run Snood, that's all I really need
What about Office? At my job we've got to
I can run Office, I just choose not to
I can get by with Open Office and with Google Docs
They're completely free to me and also they completely rock
PowerPoint is powerless and pointless like a butter knife
Outlook always leaves me with a crappy outlook on life
Excel only excels at crashing with is absurd
And all the other apps suck too...WORD!
I'm doing just fine without any of that crap
In face my Mac doesn't have a single Microsoft app
So, what, you want a medal? What do I care?
Try getting some songs off of your iPod there
Don't tell me that you never crash 'cause I'll call shenanigans
'Cause you freeze in place like a room full of mannequins
I've seen you when it happens, you sit there and smile
And watch the pretty colors spin around for a while

Hello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC
And I'm a Linux box, heh, well obviously
The fact that you're a toaster kinda gave it away
So how's life as an appliance treating you today?
You can mock me, but you'll never stop me, I got game
Only toaster on the planet that can claim to run MAME
Compiling my operating system's a breeze
And I can burn toast as easily as DVDs
You compile your own OS? Dude are you nuts?
You trust Microsoft to do it and you're calling me the yuts?
You wouldn't catch me doin' that unless you gave me a lobotomy
So we agree on something, now go away you bother me

("I'm a PC" cameos, in order of appearance: Stan Gregory, EMC from Positive Attitude, A-Log, Michael Fordice, Alchav, Jered Perez, Brian Risner, Mario Camou, Ken Sherlock, Odd Austin, Eric Brown (as Donald Duck), Kristi, Sam Hill)
How many PCs we got around here anyway?
group: YO!
I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes

Hello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC
And I'm more affordable than he will ever be
Well you get what you pay for, oh don't start
You paid for a computer and got a piece of modern art
Well you're about the ugliest thing I've ever seen
And have the blue screen of death burned into your screen
You're overpriced, underpowered, and slower than soccer
With more kernel panics than Orville Redenbacher
*achoo* Well what have we here?
Better renew your antivirus software another year
I'll bet that you're regretting all those links you clicked
A marriage counselor couldn't resolve that conflict
Well I can download porn, yeah so can I
The only difference is that I don't get a virus when I try
You got a stupid mouse, you got window pains
You have to bow to Apple's whim, you're where the error reigns
Well you suck, well you suck more
Your mother wears army boots, what are you, four?
You big meanie, what, you gonna run home and cry
You're a stinky poopy-head, I know you are but what am I?
Track Name: Half-Assed Rapper
[intro]
Uh, uh, yo, yo
Get money, get paid
Get money, get laid
Get money, get a lot
Get VD, get a shot
[verse 1]
Yo, I’m big pimpin’, like acne
Ain’t got no skills, kinda wack, see
A cheesy reference, I’m-a throw it in
I got a Android, so I can phone it in
Ain’t even tryin’, in fact I still in bed
Got a hot girl, here to give me breakfast
She bought donuts, yea that’s what I like
Mouth full of jelly, crumbs on the mic
Nah I ain’t in the mood, girls get off me
Go downstairs, get me some coffee
Song’s in all the club, record goin’ gold
My flow is nasal, ‘cause I got a cold
[chorus]
Yo I’m a half-assed rapper gettin’ paid for words
Didn’t write ‘em can’t recite ‘em but success is assured
‘Cause I pretend to be hardcore and from the street
But I got no sense of rhythm so I’m way off beat

[break]
(snoring)
engineer: Uh, Devo? Devo Spice. Devo!
Devo: Huh? Uh, yo, I’m big pimpin’, like acne. Ain’t got no skills, kida...
engineer: No, Devo. Devo! We already did that part. We’re up to the big hit part.
Devo: Oh, sorry. Uh, yo...

[verse 2]
It’s a big hit, it’s all over ya
I’m makin’ bank, like Wachovia
People love my song, so they play it again
I, uh, what was I sayin’ again?
Got phat rhymes, and clever lyrics
I know you’re impressed, by the clever lyrics
I can’t read this line, the paper’s smudged
Now I need a rhyme, uh, I like fudge
Yo I’m the best, in the game today
Like Super Mario, when he jumps away
I know I mumble, but just a li’l bit
It’s all slurred and you kayee yeah???
[chorus]
Yo I’m a half-assed rapper gettin’ paid for words
Didn’t write ‘em can’t recite ‘em but success is assured
‘Cause I pretend to be hardcore and from the street
But I got no sense of rhythm so I’m way off beat
engineer: So Devo, you wanna do a third verse?
Devo: Nah, I’m goin’ back to bed.
engineer: So how do you want to end the song?
Devo: How about you just shut up and leave me alone?
engineer: Uh, OK.
Track Name: The Geeks Come Out At Night
Tom: "Um.. I think the party's down this way. Here we go. Room 1327."
Luke: "1327? I stayed in this room last year! You wouldn't believe what happened to me in there. There was this chick..."
Tom: "Hey hey hey! I do not need that visual image. Let's just go inside."

Tom: "Hey, can I get one of those... drinks, whatever it is. The purple stuff, that's bubbling. Yeah. Thanks."
Luke: "Oh, there she is! Hi!"
Luke: "Woot! Hey look, she's taking it off. She's taking it off!
Tom: "Woah! That's not right."
Luke: "I did NOT know you could pierce that. Wow."

[chorus]
The geeks come out at night
The geeks come out at night
The geeks come out at night
(the geeks come out!)
The geeks come out at night

[verse 1]
At most conventions are nerds and geeks
Who greet their favorite stars with howls and shrieks
But when they're done marveling at Bruce Campbell's chin
The room parties open- real fun begins!
Freakin' out the mundanes and several noobs
By eating live Gach out of Klingon boobs
Cleavage and food make a wonderful pair
And you an find 'em at room parties everywhere, cause
(chorus 2x)

[verse 2]
Now when geeks get dressed it's like they're going to war
They like to dress as Sontari, Browncoats and Borg
Bat Girl, Wonder Woman and Seven Of Nine
Drinking things from where the warp core don't shine
Princess Leia slave girl with the Death Star plans
And even one as Babs Bunny for the furry fans
Then again I think the trippiest sight I'd see
Is when a hot fan girl dresses up like me, 'cause
(chorus 2x)

[verse 3]
Now the party's jumpin', the place is packed
And Rob Balder's eatin' Cheez Whiz off a girl's rack
But before I decide what I want to do
They start screening next season's Doctor Who
Geeks come in all kinds of wacky get-ups
There's one who's dressing like a smurf with a ninja set up
And there's a couple pirates with hooks for hands
I guess they won't get to grope Ginger or Mary-Anne
You might see a couple dressed like Leela and Fry
And you may never catch a geek without at least one die
And they got rum, and some Romulan Ale
But go easy 'cause that stuff'll make you grow a tail
It's really not a joke but you don't have to go far
To see a Klingon and a Vulcan walk into a bar
So if you wanna live like a geek some time
Come and party like it's 2999, 'cause
(chorus 2x)

dude 1: "Dude, check out the geeks."
dude 2: "Huh, what a bunch of freakin' losers."

geek 1: "Ugh, mundanes."
geek 2: "Ah, don't worry about them."

dude 1: "Heh, heh, beam me up, Scotty!!"

both geeks: "ERRRR, FOOTBALL!"

[Dalek voice]
Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks
This party room has its own mystique
Get loose y'all, look at Sheryl now
Everybody everybody she's naked now
We got juice y'all, and tequila y'all
Everybody everybody cop a feel y'all
Get it out now, get the vodka out
And pour a double now, that's what I'm about
Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks
This party room has its own mystique
Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks
The wookie over there is starting to reek
Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks
Luke Ski's in the corner getting ready to streak
Get drunk y'all, put a smile on
Everybody everybody he's a Cylon!
You'll admit this party was great
Or I will exterminate!

(chorus repeat and fade)

Luke: "Who's that making out with Captain Jack Sparrow?"
Tom: "Um... looks like Captain Jack Harkness."
Luke: "Figures."
Track Name: The Dumbest Song On Rock Band
(verse 1)
I think I'm going to regret downloading this track
There's ninety-nine cents that I won't ever get back
But I paid for it anyway now people give me room
'Cause I'm dancin' like a pansy in my fancy living room
I went ahead and did it so at this point I'm committed
I don't get it, I could quit it, here's a sweater that I knitted
Did it really just throw in any rhyme if it could fit it?
I wonder if there's any that this idiot omitted
Acquitted, skidded, yeah I guess there are a few
And here's a beat box solo, what am I supposed to do?
[beat boxing]
Great, now I got spit all over the place
I'm glad that it's a rap song 'cause I can't sing
I could burp or go blah-waih or really anything
And it'll work as prance like a jerk and look dumb
And here comes the Cookie Monster going om-nom-nom!

(chorus)
I can't believe I paid for this
Songs this dumb shouldn't exist
It hurts my brain, do you understand
This is the dumbest song on Rock Band

(music break with sound effects)

(verse 2)
Tweedle deedle diddle doodle feeble battle poodle
Noodle fiddle in the middle of a hot toaster strudel
Pop Rocks and Alka Seltzer fill me full of joy
Ziggy socky ziggy socky, oy, oy, oy!
Now this is just getting bizarre
I think the next time I play this song I'm using the guitar
Then again the guitar doesn't have it any better
But at least the group is all in this together
Now all the music cut out and I'm standing by myself
Lookin' like an idiot in front of everybody else
They're just twiddling their thumbs 'cause they got nothing else to do
A dum, deedle dee, dum dee dum, doo dee doo dee doo
I'll keep going 'cause it beats playing darts
But how are we supposed to play harmonica parts?
I guess I'll just do the best I can and move on
And by the way, guy on bass, I ponied your mom

(chorus)
I can't believe I paid for this
Songs this dumb shouldn't exist
It hurts my brain, do you understand
This is the dumbest song on Rock Band

(chorus 2)
The dumbest song, dumbest song
And it's goin' on way too long
I can tell you this first hand
This is the dumbest song on Rock Band

(music break with scratching)

I like to put on dresses and pretend my name is Trina
Everyone! Look at me! I'm a pretty ballerina!
When in bed I do a war cry like an Indian Chief
Mussaw me ah erf ska pea lame ahm a leef (phonetically backwards: "Feel my manly pecs for I am awesome")
I didn't think this song could possibly get any dumber
But I didn't think my brain could possibly get any number
Oh shoot, I said number, as I stumble through my play
Now here's a bunch of words in Klingon that I have to try to say
nuch na' jIH bej; verengan vIrur
Hab qu' vavwI' Quch; toQ DujwIj vID'Ir rur
(translation: "I'm cowardly like a Ferengi. My father's forehead is smooth like a baffle.")
This song is without honor, I don't wanna have to try
Maybe today is a good day to die
I don't know any way that this could get any worse
I take that back, please don't let there be another verse
I don't think I could take it, no this really isn't funny
Ha! Ha! The joke's on you! I got your money!

(chorus)
I can't believe I paid for this
Songs this dumb shouldn't exist
It hurts my brain, do you understand
This is the dumbest song on Rock Band

(chorus ending)
Dumbest song, dumbest song
(devolve into random noises)
Hern dee durr, hurp dee durp
Hurn dee durr, de durr Swedish Chef
BORK BORK BORK