Gnome Sane?

by Devo Spice

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1.
Ugh, I can't get up right now, man. I don't feel good. Who the hell decided that morning needed to come so early? (chorus 1) That party last night was awfully crazy I got so wasted Now I'm hung over and threw up so much I can still taste it I drink some coffee, pop some speed But four days sleep is what I need Passed out at five, got class at eight Smash my alarm, I can not see straight Man I hate Mondays (verse 1) I only got college for another three weeks Trying to pass, I cheat off the geeks For that to work I have to get to class Which means, I really have to move my ass So fill up my cup, coffee straight up I drive in a daze like huh, who, what? I make it to class but don't feel great A one hour class, I'm fifty minutes late Got a pop quiz, don't know what the topic is Gonna have to take it, guess I'll just fake it See the worried faces, all over the places Pray to three gods just to cover all the bases (chorus 2) That party rocked, for three days straight We celebrated Hell must've froze, I can't believe I graduated My term paper wasn't great GPA was 1.8 Got my degree, so I bid adieu But now I'm late for an interview (bridge 1) Man I hate Mondays (HEY!) I hate mornings (HEY!) I hate showers (HEY!) Man I hate Mondays (verse 2) I can't tell you what I learned in school But, it didn't prepare me to become a tool Um, there are things I never thought I'd do Like pay close attention to detail And I can't check personal email And logic is never gonna prevail Only two people here are female And I think one might be a she-male And my paycheck, nowhere near what I thought Now I can't afford the TV I just bought Out of tequila, beer, wine, and rum too Watching The Bachelor, is this what it's come to? (chorus 3) That office party was awfully lame I wish I skipped it Brown-nose the boss, so insincere It sounded scripted I cut my hair and shave my beard And now it's me who thinks I look weird Go home at eight, in bed by ten Just watch the news, then do it again (bridge 2) Man I hate Mondays (HEY!) I hate Tuesdays (HEY!) I hate Wednesdays (HEY!) Man I miss college (interlude) Now, I'm gonna give you a taste, of what I go through on Monday mornings. A typical day goes something like this. *beep!* *beep!* *beep!* *beep!* *beep!* *beep!* *beep!* *beep!* (radio voice: Traffic on the 405 is at a total stand-still this morning as all lanes are closed in both directions due to an accident involving two tractor trailers, seven cars, an ice cream truck, and the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile. Traffic is being rerouted onto surface streets but they're moving about as fast as an old lady in the express lane paying with a check.) Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Sittin' in traffic! Sittin' in traffic! Sittin' in traffic! Sittin' in traffic! Dammit, I'm late again. I hope my boss doesn't see... hey! Good morning, sir! No, I've been here for 20 minutes. I just had to go get something out of my car. Yes, with my briefcase. I don't go anywhere without it. No, not even the bathroom. (chorus 4) That office meeting we had left me Permanently scarred PowerPoint slides with cheesy graphics And crappy clip art Was ill-prepared and underdressed And there weren't no donuts left Proactive this, synergy that Then something 'bout wearin' different hats (outro) But after a few days of that, it's the weekend. You know what that means. It means I get to cut the grass, clean out the gutters, and take the kids to soccer. Do I really have to make the bed? Why can't I just leave it like that?
2.
Hello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC You can see me in homes wherever you happen to be Not to mention landfills and a couple of dumps Because you need to be replaced every couple of months Macs on the other hand last for years Because it takes you that long for you to dry your tears When you realize you spent enough to renovate some rooms And the only software you can run is iTunes I got software that can do anything From run the space shuttle to help you sing They help you write when you get stuck, invest and make a quick buck Millions of titles, yeah, and all of them suck They got a clunky interface and they waste too much space And they crash so damn much your table needs a leg brace You really should try a Mac, sorry, but no I won't You think I like the iMac and iPod well iDon't Hello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC And I run all the best games in the industry Well I got games too, dude, what's with the greed I can run Snood, that's all I really need What about Office? At my job we've got to I can run Office, I just choose not to I can get by with Open Office and with Google Docs They're completely free to me and also they completely rock PowerPoint is powerless and pointless like a butter knife Outlook always leaves me with a crappy outlook on life Excel only excels at crashing with is absurd And all the other apps suck too...WORD! I'm doing just fine without any of that crap In face my Mac doesn't have a single Microsoft app So, what, you want a medal? What do I care? Try getting some songs off of your iPod there Don't tell me that you never crash 'cause I'll call shenanigans 'Cause you freeze in place like a room full of mannequins I've seen you when it happens, you sit there and smile And watch the pretty colors spin around for a while Hello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC And I'm a Linux box, heh, well obviously The fact that you're a toaster kinda gave it away So how's life as an appliance treating you today? You can mock me, but you'll never stop me, I got game Only toaster on the planet that can claim to run MAME Compiling my operating system's a breeze And I can burn toast as easily as DVDs You compile your own OS? Dude are you nuts? You trust Microsoft to do it and you're calling me the yuts? You wouldn't catch me doin' that unless you gave me a lobotomy So we agree on something, now go away you bother me ("I'm a PC" cameos, in order of appearance: Stan Gregory, EMC from Positive Attitude, A-Log, Michael Fordice, Alchav, Jered Perez, Brian Risner, Mario Camou, Ken Sherlock, Odd Austin, Eric Brown (as Donald Duck), Kristi, Sam Hill) How many PCs we got around here anyway? group: YO! I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes Hello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC And I'm more affordable than he will ever be Well you get what you pay for, oh don't start You paid for a computer and got a piece of modern art Well you're about the ugliest thing I've ever seen And have the blue screen of death burned into your screen You're overpriced, underpowered, and slower than soccer With more kernel panics than Orville Redenbacher *achoo* Well what have we here? Better renew your antivirus software another year I'll bet that you're regretting all those links you clicked A marriage counselor couldn't resolve that conflict Well I can download porn, yeah so can I The only difference is that I don't get a virus when I try You got a stupid mouse, you got window pains You have to bow to Apple's whim, you're where the error reigns Well you suck, well you suck more Your mother wears army boots, what are you, four? You big meanie, what, you gonna run home and cry You're a stinky poopy-head, I know you are but what am I?
3.
[intro] Uh, uh, yo, yo Get money, get paid Get money, get laid Get money, get a lot Get VD, get a shot [verse 1] Yo, I’m big pimpin’, like acne Ain’t got no skills, kinda wack, see A cheesy reference, I’m-a throw it in I got a Android, so I can phone it in Ain’t even tryin’, in fact I still in bed Got a hot girl, here to give me breakfast She bought donuts, yea that’s what I like Mouth full of jelly, crumbs on the mic Nah I ain’t in the mood, girls get off me Go downstairs, get me some coffee Song’s in all the club, record goin’ gold My flow is nasal, ‘cause I got a cold [chorus] Yo I’m a half-assed rapper gettin’ paid for words Didn’t write ‘em can’t recite ‘em but success is assured ‘Cause I pretend to be hardcore and from the street But I got no sense of rhythm so I’m way off beat [break] (snoring) engineer: Uh, Devo? Devo Spice. Devo! Devo: Huh? Uh, yo, I’m big pimpin’, like acne. Ain’t got no skills, kida... engineer: No, Devo. Devo! We already did that part. We’re up to the big hit part. Devo: Oh, sorry. Uh, yo... [verse 2] It’s a big hit, it’s all over ya I’m makin’ bank, like Wachovia People love my song, so they play it again I, uh, what was I sayin’ again? Got phat rhymes, and clever lyrics I know you’re impressed, by the clever lyrics I can’t read this line, the paper’s smudged Now I need a rhyme, uh, I like fudge Yo I’m the best, in the game today Like Super Mario, when he jumps away I know I mumble, but just a li’l bit It’s all slurred and you kayee yeah??? [chorus] Yo I’m a half-assed rapper gettin’ paid for words Didn’t write ‘em can’t recite ‘em but success is assured ‘Cause I pretend to be hardcore and from the street But I got no sense of rhythm so I’m way off beat engineer: So Devo, you wanna do a third verse? Devo: Nah, I’m goin’ back to bed. engineer: So how do you want to end the song? Devo: How about you just shut up and leave me alone? engineer: Uh, OK.
4.
Tom: "Um.. I think the party's down this way. Here we go. Room 1327." Luke: "1327? I stayed in this room last year! You wouldn't believe what happened to me in there. There was this chick..." Tom: "Hey hey hey! I do not need that visual image. Let's just go inside." Tom: "Hey, can I get one of those... drinks, whatever it is. The purple stuff, that's bubbling. Yeah. Thanks." Luke: "Oh, there she is! Hi!" Luke: "Woot! Hey look, she's taking it off. She's taking it off! Tom: "Woah! That's not right." Luke: "I did NOT know you could pierce that. Wow." [chorus] The geeks come out at night The geeks come out at night The geeks come out at night (the geeks come out!) The geeks come out at night [verse 1] At most conventions are nerds and geeks Who greet their favorite stars with howls and shrieks But when they're done marveling at Bruce Campbell's chin The room parties open- real fun begins! Freakin' out the mundanes and several noobs By eating live Gach out of Klingon boobs Cleavage and food make a wonderful pair And you an find 'em at room parties everywhere, cause (chorus 2x) [verse 2] Now when geeks get dressed it's like they're going to war They like to dress as Sontari, Browncoats and Borg Bat Girl, Wonder Woman and Seven Of Nine Drinking things from where the warp core don't shine Princess Leia slave girl with the Death Star plans And even one as Babs Bunny for the furry fans Then again I think the trippiest sight I'd see Is when a hot fan girl dresses up like me, 'cause (chorus 2x) [verse 3] Now the party's jumpin', the place is packed And Rob Balder's eatin' Cheez Whiz off a girl's rack But before I decide what I want to do They start screening next season's Doctor Who Geeks come in all kinds of wacky get-ups There's one who's dressing like a smurf with a ninja set up And there's a couple pirates with hooks for hands I guess they won't get to grope Ginger or Mary-Anne You might see a couple dressed like Leela and Fry And you may never catch a geek without at least one die And they got rum, and some Romulan Ale But go easy 'cause that stuff'll make you grow a tail It's really not a joke but you don't have to go far To see a Klingon and a Vulcan walk into a bar So if you wanna live like a geek some time Come and party like it's 2999, 'cause (chorus 2x) dude 1: "Dude, check out the geeks." dude 2: "Huh, what a bunch of freakin' losers." geek 1: "Ugh, mundanes." geek 2: "Ah, don't worry about them." dude 1: "Heh, heh, beam me up, Scotty!!" both geeks: "ERRRR, FOOTBALL!" [Dalek voice] Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks This party room has its own mystique Get loose y'all, look at Sheryl now Everybody everybody she's naked now We got juice y'all, and tequila y'all Everybody everybody cop a feel y'all Get it out now, get the vodka out And pour a double now, that's what I'm about Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks This party room has its own mystique Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks The wookie over there is starting to reek Nerds, geeks, we planned for weeks Luke Ski's in the corner getting ready to streak Get drunk y'all, put a smile on Everybody everybody he's a Cylon! You'll admit this party was great Or I will exterminate! (chorus repeat and fade) Luke: "Who's that making out with Captain Jack Sparrow?" Tom: "Um... looks like Captain Jack Harkness." Luke: "Figures."
5.
(verse 1) I think I'm going to regret downloading this track There's ninety-nine cents that I won't ever get back But I paid for it anyway now people give me room 'Cause I'm dancin' like a pansy in my fancy living room I went ahead and did it so at this point I'm committed I don't get it, I could quit it, here's a sweater that I knitted Did it really just throw in any rhyme if it could fit it? I wonder if there's any that this idiot omitted Acquitted, skidded, yeah I guess there are a few And here's a beat box solo, what am I supposed to do? [beat boxing] Great, now I got spit all over the place I'm glad that it's a rap song 'cause I can't sing I could burp or go blah-waih or really anything And it'll work as prance like a jerk and look dumb And here comes the Cookie Monster going om-nom-nom! (chorus) I can't believe I paid for this Songs this dumb shouldn't exist It hurts my brain, do you understand This is the dumbest song on Rock Band (music break with sound effects) (verse 2) Tweedle deedle diddle doodle feeble battle poodle Noodle fiddle in the middle of a hot toaster strudel Pop Rocks and Alka Seltzer fill me full of joy Ziggy socky ziggy socky, oy, oy, oy! Now this is just getting bizarre I think the next time I play this song I'm using the guitar Then again the guitar doesn't have it any better But at least the group is all in this together Now all the music cut out and I'm standing by myself Lookin' like an idiot in front of everybody else They're just twiddling their thumbs 'cause they got nothing else to do A dum, deedle dee, dum dee dum, doo dee doo dee doo I'll keep going 'cause it beats playing darts But how are we supposed to play harmonica parts? I guess I'll just do the best I can and move on And by the way, guy on bass, I ponied your mom (chorus) I can't believe I paid for this Songs this dumb shouldn't exist It hurts my brain, do you understand This is the dumbest song on Rock Band (chorus 2) The dumbest song, dumbest song And it's goin' on way too long I can tell you this first hand This is the dumbest song on Rock Band (music break with scratching) I like to put on dresses and pretend my name is Trina Everyone! Look at me! I'm a pretty ballerina! When in bed I do a war cry like an Indian Chief Mussaw me ah erf ska pea lame ahm a leef (phonetically backwards: "Feel my manly pecs for I am awesome") I didn't think this song could possibly get any dumber But I didn't think my brain could possibly get any number Oh shoot, I said number, as I stumble through my play Now here's a bunch of words in Klingon that I have to try to say nuch na' jIH bej; verengan vIrur Hab qu' vavwI' Quch; toQ DujwIj vID'Ir rur (translation: "I'm cowardly like a Ferengi. My father's forehead is smooth like a baffle.") This song is without honor, I don't wanna have to try Maybe today is a good day to die I don't know any way that this could get any worse I take that back, please don't let there be another verse I don't think I could take it, no this really isn't funny Ha! Ha! The joke's on you! I got your money! (chorus) I can't believe I paid for this Songs this dumb shouldn't exist It hurts my brain, do you understand This is the dumbest song on Rock Band (chorus ending) Dumbest song, dumbest song (devolve into random noises) Hern dee durr, hurp dee durp Hurn dee durr, de durr Swedish Chef BORK BORK BORK
6.
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Enhanced 05:13
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Nerds Rule 02:53
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Brain Food 03:53
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Earworm 03:37
15.
Not Amused 04:09
16.
Flight Check 05:19
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PC Halloween 03:38
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Gnome Sane by Devo Spice features 19 tracks of hilarious hip hop tracks including his hit songs "Platform Wars," "I Hate Mondays," "Nothin' But A Geek Thang," and more! This album features guest appearances by Worm Quartet, the great Luke Ski, MC Lars, YTCracker, and delivers over 70 minutes of comedy rap.

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released April 1, 2011

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Devo Spice Hardyston, New Jersey

Devo Spice is a nerdcore and comedy rapper from New Jersey who has been called "the red-headed stepson of Weird Al Yankovic and Eminem." His demented brand of hip hop made him one of the most popular artists on the nationally syndicated Dr. Demento Show. In 2011 Devo Spice released the album "Gnome Sane?" and it went to number #28 on the Hip Hop charts on iTunes. ... more

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