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about

The existence of the movie Stupid Teenagers Must Die reminded me just how much I enjoy movies like this. The 1980s, of course, was the heyday of this style of filmmaking, but if you look around you can still find movies like this being made today. This song features background vocals by Professor Pastronamy, Justin Emerson, Mike Eaton, Fossil B, Steve Bean, and The Great Luke Ski. And yes, that's Stupid Teenagers Must Die director extraordinaire Jeff Smith directing the action at the end.

lyrics

What you want in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you need in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you see in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
It makes life worth living! Blood, guts and boobs!
What you want in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you need in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you see in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
It makes previews worth watching! Blood, guts and boobs!

What I want in my movie when I pay my ten bucks
It better not be boring with a story that sucks
I need a chopped up body with the breath still laboring
And stale popcorn with imitation butter flavoring
Top it off with a girl who takes her top off
I'm rootin' for the killer lookin' for things he can lop off
Boobs should be found in a plentiful amount
But silicon and CGI don't count
For a film to compete it's gotta have some extra meat
Aliens are always fun but melted eyeballs are neat
If you got people to kill and need to get the job done
Bullets are boring, lawnmowers are fun
To the women in the film who are trying to survive
Here's what you need to do to help you make it out a live
It's the middle of the night, got a dozen dead friends
Time to go skinny dipping in the lake again!

What you want in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you need in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you see in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
It makes Goobers worth eating! Blood, guts and boobs!
What you want in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you need in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you see in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
It makes tapes worth rewinding! Blood, guts and boobs!

Why would a woman take her shirt off when all of her
Friends are getting knocked off and having limbs hacked off?
She can tell that she isn't gonna make it
So what the hell, might as well die naked
Besides boobs can really help you out a ton
They'll distract a horde of zombies long enough for your to run
More effective than a gun on escaped mental patients
Boobs are often used for diplomatic relations
Why do you think that kid meowed in The Grudge
He was trying to get her shirt off, but Buffy wouldn't budge
And those gadgets in Saw had a serious flaw
They could snap open a jaw but couldn't unlatch a bra
Seriously that'd be at the top of my list
If I was making something like that exist, but he missed
The opportunity, for some gratuitous nudity
As Flanders would say, yes indeedily-doodily

What you want in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you need in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you see in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
It makes Paris worth watching! Blood, guts and boobs!
What you want in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you need in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you see in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
It makes Lucas worth nothing! Blood, guts and boobs!

There's a killer on the train again, nowhere to hide
You can jump off the side or "Take off your t-shirt!"
Your bowl of Rice Krispies says "Snap Krackle Kill"
You can make out your will or "Take off your t-shirt!"
The mirror's talkin' back to you, callin' you fat
You can hit it with a bat or "Take off your t-shirt!"
There's a monster in your shower drain made out of hair
You can attack it with Nair or "Take off your t-shirt!"

Bulbous, buoyant and bouncy, they can do some neat tricks
I like werewolf chicks because they have six
And sorority chicks should just be naked all the time
Then it's fine if they can't remember a line
Harry Potter was OK but some day I wanna see
The version with all the perversion there can be
Where Ron gets disemboweled and Hermione strips
And Hagrid dresses like a Catholic school girl with whips
Call me appalling through it all I'm never satiated
I want Snow White topless and the seven dwarfs decapitated
Irritated when a movie misses a chance
To lop off someone's head or rip off someone's pants
So if your story sucks and your director can't direct for shit
At least find a chick who will whip out a tit
And if you go to a show and see me doing this song
Take off your t-shirt and sing along!

What you want in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you need in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you see in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
It makes floors worth sticking to! Blood, guts and boobs!
What you want in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you need in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
What you see in the movie? Blood, guts and boobs!
It makes Ebert worth feeding! Blood, guts and boobs!

Blood! Guts! Boobs! Boobs!
Blood! Guts! Boobs! Boobs!

"Aaaaand...cut! Yes, nice, nice. Alright, let's go again.
Let's get some more blood. And some more boobs.
I'd say about 75% more boobs. Get some blood on those
boobs over there. Let's get those boobs into that
blood right there. Jonathan, brother, you're
craft service, I'm not sure why you're topless
right now, but... Um, alright. More boobs, people,
more boobs. And we'll go again. Alright.
Man, I'm a genius."

credits

from Rhythms from the Crypt - The Best of Sudden Death, released June 21, 2013
Lyrics: Tom Rockwell
Music: Thom Uliasz
Vocals: Tom Rockwell
Background vocals: Tom Rockwell
Thom Uliasz
Luke Sienkowski
Jeff Smith

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Devo Spice Hardyston, New Jersey

Devo Spice is a nerdcore and comedy rapper from New Jersey who has been called "the red-headed stepson of Weird Al Yankovic and Eminem." His demented brand of hip hop made him one of the most popular artists on the nationally syndicated Dr. Demento Show. In 2011 Devo Spice released the album "Gnome Sane?" and it went to number #28 on the Hip Hop charts on iTunes. ... more

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