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Half​-​Assed Rapper

from Gnome Sane? by Devo Spice

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about

So there I was, driving around northern New Jersey, listening to a New York radio station, and I was absolutely shocked by what passes for Hip Hop these days. Most of the rappers I heard sounded like they weren't even trying. They sounded like they just rolled out of bed, stumbled into the studio, mumbled a few lines, then went back to bed. I began amusing myself by mocking them. After I came up with the half-assedly sung chorus I realized I had a song to write. This is the end result. Enjoy!

lyrics

[intro]
Uh, uh, yo, yo
Get money, get paid
Get money, get laid
Get money, get a lot
Get VD, get a shot
[verse 1]
Yo, I’m big pimpin’, like acne
Ain’t got no skills, kinda wack, see
A cheesy reference, I’m-a throw it in
I got a Android, so I can phone it in
Ain’t even tryin’, in fact I still in bed
Got a hot girl, here to give me breakfast
She bought donuts, yea that’s what I like
Mouth full of jelly, crumbs on the mic
Nah I ain’t in the mood, girls get off me
Go downstairs, get me some coffee
Song’s in all the club, record goin’ gold
My flow is nasal, ‘cause I got a cold
[chorus]
Yo I’m a half-assed rapper gettin’ paid for words
Didn’t write ‘em can’t recite ‘em but success is assured
‘Cause I pretend to be hardcore and from the street
But I got no sense of rhythm so I’m way off beat

[break]
(snoring)
engineer: Uh, Devo? Devo Spice. Devo!
Devo: Huh? Uh, yo, I’m big pimpin’, like acne. Ain’t got no skills, kida...
engineer: No, Devo. Devo! We already did that part. We’re up to the big hit part.
Devo: Oh, sorry. Uh, yo...

[verse 2]
It’s a big hit, it’s all over ya
I’m makin’ bank, like Wachovia
People love my song, so they play it again
I, uh, what was I sayin’ again?
Got phat rhymes, and clever lyrics
I know you’re impressed, by the clever lyrics
I can’t read this line, the paper’s smudged
Now I need a rhyme, uh, I like fudge
Yo I’m the best, in the game today
Like Super Mario, when he jumps away
I know I mumble, but just a li’l bit
It’s all slurred and you kayee yeah???
[chorus]
Yo I’m a half-assed rapper gettin’ paid for words
Didn’t write ‘em can’t recite ‘em but success is assured
‘Cause I pretend to be hardcore and from the street
But I got no sense of rhythm so I’m way off beat
engineer: So Devo, you wanna do a third verse?
Devo: Nah, I’m goin’ back to bed.
engineer: So how do you want to end the song?
Devo: How about you just shut up and leave me alone?
engineer: Uh, OK.

credits

from Gnome Sane?, released April 1, 2011

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Devo Spice Hardyston, New Jersey

Devo Spice is a nerdcore and comedy rapper from New Jersey who has been called "the red-headed stepson of Weird Al Yankovic and Eminem." His demented brand of hip hop made him one of the most popular artists on the nationally syndicated Dr. Demento Show. In 2011 Devo Spice released the album "Gnome Sane?" and it went to number #28 on the Hip Hop charts on iTunes. ... more

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