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about

This is a song inspired by the many problems I've had working with computers over the years (mostly Windows) and the anguish it has caused.

lyrics

[chorus:]
Whoops! There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)
Whoops! There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)
Whoops! There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)

I'm adding up the final column of the quarterly report
And I've been over-caffeinated since a quarter to four
I think I need a little more 'cause this is the only way
I can make it through another 22 hour day
Then as I feared things began to get weird
And the bottom left corner of my screen disappeared
I don't think I like the sound that my computer is makin'
And I'm not really sure, but I think I smell bacon
This can't be happening, I was almost done
But now my backups are gone and I'm back to square one
I have to do it all again, the whole thing is trash
This time I'll use an abacus because hey, they don't crash
Boot it up again hoping that it's all clear
But my C drive is my D drive and my D drive disappeared
My computer logs me in as somebody named Sam
I can't get on the internet and yet I get spam
And here's another error, I don't understand
Why it can't find my mouse when it's right here in my hand
But what really ticks me off is when I think about the jerks
Who get rich selling me all this junk that doesn't work
(chorus)

When my computer booted up I wanted to boot it real hard
'Cause my motherboard went and aborted the daughter card
My modem dialed China and I couldn't make it stop
And my router started blinking like a Star Trek prop
It auto updates although I don't know what for
With every one my computer sucks a little more
Things'll break or run slow enough to cause me great anguish
Now my printer's spittin' out some kind of alien language
Word processing should be simple stuff
So why is four billion bits of memory not enough
I click a menu, pause, and watch the hours pass
As my life drains away down an hour glass
While I'm waitin' for my mouse to respond to a click
I make a Voodoo doll out of a paperclip
So when that Office thing appears and tries to drive me insane
I can mame and mutilate the thing and cause it some pain
They put a man on the moon with 32k, and I can't
Put my name on this report without it crashing today
Since I can't save or even click on a menu
I'll hit any key with a hammer to continue

Hal: What are you doing, Tom?
Tom: I'm... working on a new song.
Hal: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Tom.
Tom: What? Why not?
Hal: Because nobody likes your music.
Tom: What are you talking about? I've sold almost 10 copies
of my last CD.
Hal: I'm sorry, Tom. I'm afraid I'm going to have to crash now.
Tom: What... no... wait! Just let me save...
(silence)
Tom: DAMN IT!!
(restart sound)

My eyes start to twitch and my neck gets sore
And the vein in my brain begins to throb a little more
'Cause I got pop up ads that just don't wanna stop
And I'm not even online, I'm in Photoshop
And now I'm screamin' 'cause I can't believe I'm seein'
All the type on my screen got converted to Korean
Then I got an email from myself
About V!@gra and a mor'_gage and some foreign wealth
They put computers into everything, refrigerators, telephones
Toothbrushes, damn it, why can't they leave 'em alone
I'm tellin' you now, I don't care how when or why
The day my television crashes someone's going to die!
(chorus)

All I did was click Start.
(chorus)

credits

from Rhythms from the Crypt - The Best of Sudden Death, released June 21, 2013
Lyrics: Tom Rockwell
Music: Thom Uliasz
Vocals: Tom Rockwell
Background vocals: Wally Fields

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Devo Spice Hardyston, New Jersey

Devo Spice is a nerdcore and comedy rapper from New Jersey who has been called "the red-headed stepson of Weird Al Yankovic and Eminem." His demented brand of hip hop made him one of the most popular artists on the nationally syndicated Dr. Demento Show. In 2011 Devo Spice released the album "Gnome Sane?" and it went to number #28 on the Hip Hop charts on iTunes. ... more

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