It was a very special day and I wanted to celebrate
In a very special way and I just couldn't wait
So I took myself out to a very special place
I went to I-HOP so I could stuff my very social face
I crammed into a booth that was a little too tight
Where the waitress gave me water she was quite the pretty sight
But she asked me the dumbest question I ever heard
She said "Would you like coffee?" Don't be absurd
Of course I want coffee I want all of the coffee
And if you spill a little on me don't worry I'll lick it off me
But first I want to order what I like to eat best
The Heartstopper 9000, it's a special request
A breakfast sandwich with ham, eggs, and cheese
A sausage patty and some extra bacon if you please
Piled over that is some thin-cut steak
And I top if off with a waffle and a pancake
It was such a pretty sight, that I began to tear up
And to drink, I got a large glass of maple syrup
Then I said I needed room so everybody stand back
I'm a professional, and this ain't no light snack
The both grew tighter with every bite that I consumed
But it didn't stand a chance, this sandwich was doomed
And when I finished, I threw my arms up, "Check, please!"
Then the room began to spin and I got weak in the knees, and I was
Throwin' up in an I-HOP again
I'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again
I'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again
and I'm glad that I don't have to clean it up
I'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again
I'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again
I'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again
And yet somehow I don't think I've had enough

The waitress came swiftly asking if I was OK
She took my hand, helped me stand, and wiped some vomit away
I nodded as she held me up and stood there for a while
And through it all she never lost her beautiful smile
The scene was surreal, could this be what it seems?
I'm in an I-HOP, did I just meet the girl of my dreams?
I stared into her eyes and I felt funny inside
I tried to speak but it sounded more like somebody died, 'cause I was
Thrown' up in an I-HOP again
I'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again
I'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again
And it makes a pretty modern art design
I'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again
I'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again
I'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again
And my bill was only $7.99

Now there's a girl who's getting a big tip.